Saturday, February 28, 2009

Silence can kill.

So here we are ladies and gentlemen. The moment of Truth. As a student yearning for higher education in the United States: The land of freedom and unlimited possibilities, I have done everything on the list to convey said yearning to said universities.
I have poured out my soul (or atleast some part of it) in the form of a statement of purpose which aims to convince the powers that be of my intent to study in their "esteemed institution" (as cliched as that sounds). I have also struggled through undergraduate;although watching movies and anime till my retinas screamed out for moisture may not indicate that I did so.

And now I play the dreadful waiting game. Days and days of checking my mail at constant time intervals. And each time the Gmail page loads, I hold my breath,afraid to exhale, as if the mere exhalation might change what I see in my inbox. Superstitious son of a bitch aren't I? I might has well developed OCD by the way I check my mail with the religious fervour of a fanatic. Hoping against hope that today will be the lucky day, with that email that will change my life. Ah bittersweet torment indeed..

My friends seem to fare better. An avid reader of this blog and a friend of mine, closer than a brother, has got his fare share of rejections, NUS included. Another gluttonous buddy,who knows his sunny side up from over easy, has just posted as his status on Facebook, that another university would prefer not to have him there, although the selection of words that conveyed that ill-fated message were quite honeyed(to say the least).
Lets not be all negative... Some friends have broken through the barrier by receiving their letters or emails.
So as that little known wrestler I watched as a child quotes on TNT : "What about me? What about Raven?" I too say What about me? What about Nikhil? At this point even a rejection wouldn't be so bad.. just to see if the other side is alive and kicking.

I feel like that poor pissed off bull at the Portugal annual bullfighting competition. To have the Carmen Opera playing in the background and having thousands of spectators seeing you being taunted and teased by a man in a funny costume.
That red cloth he brandishes like a sword is a metaphor for every application reply pending. And everytime my inbox glumly tells me that there is nothing but static, I feel like that bull who goes through that red robe half expecting the unwitting toreador on the other side.
Another buddy has got a reply.
Yet another rejection email to add to his list

Good god. I should have shifted to journalism or avant garde/freelance writing or stand up comedy if I had had the chance.

This post is dedicated to Viggy who said I should give him something good to read. Glad to oblige da. Enjoy the Bitterness and the English flair! :-)


Anonymous said...

Always a treat to read - the English flair; if only the truth weren't as bitter!

And I re-iterate: the grass is always greener on the other side. I feel a bit relieved not to see any responses now after facing an avalanche of rejects!

Krithika said...

why don't you start writing? you're really good at it