Monday, May 4, 2009

Good O'l Johnny!!

We've all come a long way since our childhood, where we were innocent little boys and girls, where we treasured friendships and promised to be best friends forever. Not to imply that we are now corrupt youngsters who have no value for friendship! ^_^

So the other day I get a message from a friend of mine whom I hadn't met in over 8 years. So I follow instructions to the cafe coffee day that she mentioned and we caught up on old times. Koles was there too and soon the conversation shifted to the great times and the not-so-great times at school, how friends bound by ties stronger than blood soon had their bonds severed after shifting schools. The Great Partition of 10th as I would like to christen it, saw many friends parting ways, saying sad farewells and forget-me-nots as they made their exodus from Bhavans and enrolled in others like Maharishi and Chimaya. But thankfully, our country, with its flawed faculty and messed up instruction methods, gave these friends a chance to study under the same roof of the tuition class. Ah, sweet nostalgia.

The majority of Bhavanites and the students from Chinmaya attended the classes of the legendary Mr."Pills" Pillai aka "Kanna" and Mr."Johnny" Johnson. Of course, the former knew about the nickname but the latter had no inkling. Please don't tell him, he knows me personally and will kill me! The reason for attending Johnny's was simple. I had no chemistry skills (love related sigh or chemical related). And the fact that our erstwhile chemistry teacher (who successfully epitomizes insanity at its most purest and distilled) threatened to suspend me, didn't help either.
It was Rajganesh's birthday and the first two periods were double periods chemistry. I sat at the back bench and was asked by the teacher(lets call her Mrs. G) to write the equation for the equilibrium constant for a reaction involving mixture of a weak acid and strong base. I didn't know. She asked me to leave the class. I did. No begging, pleading or yelping for mercy and forgiveness. I just pocketed my pen,took my notebook and left the class..
Whoa,whoa, slow the fuck down! Where do you think you're going?? Mrs.G.
Well, you asked me to leave the class, I'm leaving. Simply following orders,ma'am...
I don't like your attitude! I'll have you suspended you know!!
And that's when somewhere inside me I knew this was the straw that broke my back. Being punished and threatened to be suspended for my inability to memorize a long and tedious formula was incentive enough to sign up for Johnny. Needless to say that was the best birthday present I ever gave Raju.

Some Classic Johnny-isms coutesy of an Orkut community dedicated to this great individual.
" wat iz the iyubak name oaf izobendanain????eh?you didn't study?dhen yoo shud pay more addension in clazzz!!!!Then yoo will get cendum in gemistry.Ya ya ya you must practize practize gannot memorize oargaanic!sid down , SID DOWN!"

"Yeah, Benzene, Benzene,Benzene....Benzene, Yeah....".

"Eeethylll Meethyll Aminnnee."

" If you don't attend the tests you will be the loser...only you (pause 10 sec).......only you....(pause 5 sec)..not me."

And my personal Favourite.

"Why aren't you coming to Focus?"

But before long I started to understand chemistry, 1s2,2s2,2p6 wasn't just some random bullshit and chemistry actually started to become interesting. Yes, I pinched and slapped myself: I wasn't dreaming.

Though the man never smiled or cracked a joke, he was very passionate about the subject and helped out those who had trouble with the subject. He stayed behind after classes to help us out and the most emotional he ever got was the last class before the Boards.

I got the highest marks in chemistry that year in the Boards. 82/100
All thanks to Johnson Sir.

P.s Do you have a Johnson (or Abdul Razim ) story to share? Please leave a comment!


vigneshjvn said...

Nice. Reminds me of my JEE coaching days. Madness then, reminiscence now.

Vishwam said...

great article, i rememeber the time he used to look through the grill to argue with his wife, that class wass priceless.

Vyaas said...

beautiful!! Absolutely beautiful!!