Monday, May 25, 2009

I, Robot

Its been roughly more than a week since my final review was done. However I was missing the teary farewells; the emotional love fest and Chandler-Joey hugs that everyone were experiencing. So what exactly was going on over here? Sure I missed my friends and (some of them) they missed me. But what was missing was the gravity of the situation. The inevitability of it all. The fact of the matter was that we had to part ways and there were no two ways about. My friends,particularly Sures Kumar TS, said that my practicality was at once my greatest strength and my greatest weakness. He's right enough I guess. I, for one, am not the man who sways to extremes of emotion. But at the same time my sense of practicality seems to inhibit my emotional quota or as we tamilians put it: Pheelings.


So here is my perspective on the issue. Call me the most insensitive jerk on the planet or whatever expletive suits your taste. I ain't bothered in the least.
The Official Farewell: Here I was posing for photographs, talking to everyone till my throat went hoarse and soaking up all the visuals that my eyes would allow. I vividly remember that night: the festivity in the air and the bittersweet realization that our halcyon days were coming to a glorious end.
The Unofficial Class Farewell: Emotions are a bitch. They keep coming back for more punishment. This time only the respective batches went for the party, a few got drunk and the night ended with tons of photographs of folks donning Zorro masks. The thing looked like something pulled out of a renaissance tinged nightmare. Yours truly was busy standing outside Dr.J's and Dr.Ghosh's office with recommendation letters in hand while all this was transpiring. Let's weigh the options. Missing a class party( when the official one was already over) and reiterating the same "Dude, I'm gonna miss you!!!" line, or get the recos over with and thereby completing the applications. Of course, a few people(four to be precise) asked me why I didn't make it. I gave them my reasoning. And the look that followed was either the most venomous look or a mix of condescending and misunderstanding. Well in this blogger's humble opinion, I didn't want to risk botching up my applications for a class party.
The Last Day: Needless to say the Emotional Express ran out of steam for me at this juncture. I was already in Bangalore the last semester and away from my friends. I came back to submit some xeroxes and pick up my provisional degree certificate. I met my friends but that "emotional pheelings" atmosphere was just not there. I thought of staying for lunch, but gut feeling instructed me to get the hell out of VIT. I left VIT without even giving it a "long final teary glance".

And so here we are;back at the beginning of the tale. A whole week has gone by and yet the reality of the situation hasn't sunk in. I'm a lot better off than my friends who spent hours and hours collecting phone numbers and mail addresses. Lets be practical for a second. Out of all the people we have met, we are probably going to stay in touch (and I really mean keep in touch) with less than 10% of the people. I have friends in school who pledged to be" friends always" and " to keep me posted", but have disappeared off the radar. They have effectively moved on with their lives and I have with mine. So the question is why be so emotional and fretful when say five years down the line, you barely hear from your own batch mates? The realization of that truth is probably the reason why I'm somewhat detached from the whole thing.

People keep phone numbers. To me most of them are just random numbers.
People take photos. To me they represent the freezing of a transient memory whose significance fades down the years.
People promise to stay in touch. They rarely do.
"I'll catch you around sometime". You wont.

5 comments:

vigneshjvn said...

Please ignore the previous comment. Bad language. Nikhil, delete it and remove this intro line if you can. Here's what I actually meant:

For someone who is pragmatic, you've taken a rather pessimistic turn in your concluding paragraph (and you have expressed quite a strong opinion I must admit).
People take photos. The significance of those transient memories fades with time - and the role of a photo is precisely to remind you of those faded memories (aka nostalgia). Plus, photos are beautiful, they can make you smile and think of all the happy times you've had. Because people capture only their happy times on film - if you look at a person's photo albums, you'd be convinced that they've led a perfectly happy life, it's filled with parties, weddings, birthdays. . . (I'm quoting this from the movie one hour photo btw).
The odds of staying in touch does reduce to infinitesimal levels, but as my favourite saying goes, "life goes on, and you find new people and move on!"

prateekmathur said...

" The realization of that truth is probably the reason why I'm somewhat detached from the whole thing."
realization of truth is a nice thing..but just coz u know that u r gonna lose contact eventually doesn't mean u can't say goodbyes properly...its like jumping to the last chapter of a novel skipping how the story progresses...saying goodbyes or "teary farewells" are a way to culminate the great time we had in 4 years..no one is sure that we would see each other again..we may forget some faces and names..but at least for all these years they were important to us (may be vice versa too!) and we want to have a proper closure before we start a new chapter...if u think all the others were crying their eyes out even after reaching home..u r wrong...a person cries only in a moment...the very next moment is moving ahead...wen the train left vit all had a lump but it was just a moment...regarding photos..i m actually shocked to hear ur views..i always thought u liked having pics clicked as i always saw u with ur camera..significance fades out if u let it..if u want to preserve it u can..!!
i know u consider me an emotional idiot...it was evident from ur comments on my videos...and so u may not take it seriously but visit my blog and read my latest post...4 incidents in the last fortnight that taught me something..the gist is moving ahead and being practical doesn't mean forgetting the past...the key is balancing...

prateekmathur said...

@nikhil
may be ur right...may be its two sides of a coin...may be ur way is the silent way of expressing the same wat i do loudly..;-)..
i never had it in my mind that u are emotionless dude...u only stated it in ur posts etc..anyway all air is cleared now...good for us.. :-Ddon't take any of my comments personally..THEY ARE RESTRICTED TO ONLY WAT U WRITE..i already have an opinion about u in 4 yrs and these blogs won't change them.. ;-)...its just that both these posts were against my opinion about u...

vigneshjvn said...

Moving beyond the content, great language! One of the many reasons I read your blog regularly: your wonderful diction, and the language. And I appreciate your views - continue writing! :) Great job!

Nikhil Rajagopalan said...

Thanks Viggy! ^_^
That's means a lot.